Oh look. The infamous haze is back in the Kuala Lumpur and Klang Valley area. We pride ourselves with living in a place developed enough to find it hard to breathe outdoors once in a while, but when it gets a lot worse out here, that’s when it gets infuriating.
The haze might be here and stick around for some time because of the Indonesian bush fires and severe forest burnings (plus the drought-y rain-free weather), but we will never let it dampen our spirits! Here are some of the crazy/fun things we can do to take advantage of this cruel and health threatening haze.
1. Quit smoking by breathing outside air.
|Why smoke when there is free second hand smoke outdoors?|
You don’t need a cigarette fix to slowly kill yourself while standing around outside. With the haze, you will no longer need the effort to take out the lighter and cig box from your pockets, and you won’t even need to light anything and waste you hard earned energy to move your fingers. Just go outside, take a long deep breath, and you’ll cough up blood in no time, without any cigarettes.
2. Drive around with your eyes closed.
|“Honey, are we there yet?”
“I don’t even know where we are now”
You won’t be able to see anything on the roads anyway, so you might as well drive blindfolded. If you crash, blame it on the haze. No one would even question it. Boo, forest fires! Actually wait, on second thought… don’t do this. It’s really dangerous, so stay safe on the roads and avoid driving if visibility is bad folks!
3. Take cool, blurry hipster photographs
|#Selfie #Haze #NoFilter|
Ever wanted to take artsy black and while photographs with blurry effects and a cool vibe? Snap away at landscapes and macro shots of blurry plants and melancholy pictures of your feet, because the haze will provide you with a dirty but sexy feel to your photographs. You will be a famous photographer in no time. Instagram filter, what’s that?
4. Spend the day as a mask wearing ninja.
|My Ninja senses are tingling.|
Why waste your look with an ugly surgical mask when you can also dress up like a ninja? Not only will you look incredible, but it is an alternative way to covering up your face when you have a stroll. You won’t even need an excuse to carry a samurai sword. Plus, with all this haze, you can try your ninja disappearance trick in the fog.
5. Stay indoors.
|The haze adding on more members to the Forever Alone club.|
Avoid meetings and catching up with friends, and give them the awful haze as a reason for you to ‘stay at home and catch up on work’. Watch that “House of Cards” marathon and eat char kuey teow from a plastic bag. Unleash your inner monster by posting negative comments on YouTube and Reddit. Laugh at your friends as they post pictures of Facebook of them trying to have fun in the smokey atmosphere.
Disclaimer: This article reflects the personal opinions of the writer. It is meant to be a snarky yet positive outlook on the current haze situation, which will hopefully provide some much needed laughs.